I’ve been giving a lot of thought lately to the concept and importance of letting go. It is fascinating to me how often in life, when we say goodbye or give up on something that is simply not serving us or working out to our liking, we are rewarded in some way that we could not have even imagined from behind the blinders of what we wanted. Often, it seems to me, we are the ones standing in the way of our own miracles.
I’m sure we have all experienced this before – we are trying to achieve something, we set our mind on an outcome, and it becomes a struggle as we tighten our grip and try and control it. Not until we release our expectations of what we want to happen are we rewarded, often with something even greater. You say goodbye to a relationship that is not serving you, only to meet someone who turns your world upside down for the better. You quit a job you’re unhappy at with a boss you can’t stand, and find a position that empowers and inspires you.
Sometimes, it is not that we need to try more or work harder, but actually to let go of our expectations and allow things to be as they are. That tight grip you hold on getting pregnant, ridding your body of cancer, or reaching new heights in your career might be the one thing holding you back from obtaining it.
I’m reminded of this quote:
“The wise know that too much doing and a thing won’t get done. The secret to manifesting on the highest level is to find the perfect amount of doing and non-doing to allow the doing to be done. Sometimes much more can be accomplished simply by letting go and trusting.” – Jackson Kiddard
It can be completely devastating when things do not fall into place as we wish, especially when we’re talking about major life decisions or needs that come from such a deep place that we can’t separate them from the core of our being. But we must not forget that (compared to the universe) we have little control over the exact outcome of our efforts; that the struggle can suffocate us. Like an animal caught in a vice, the more we struggle, the more pain we cause ourselves and the farther we drift from our goals.
I see many examples of this in daily practice working with couples trying to conceive. These men and women ache to be able to conceive and become mothers and fathers. It’s what they’ve wanted their whole lives, and they cannot fathom a future where they are not driving to soccer games and taking family vacations. I completely understand the ache. And I don’t think anyone should give up on their dreams. But I do think that sometimes, we need to let go of the struggle and of our need to control, in order for life to surprise us and reward us.
Keep in mind what you want, and work to achieve it without struggle but with nurturing kindness and trust in the process. You can get healthy, you can get pregnant, you can get that career you can’t stop thinking about. You’ve tried everything. So try letting go of the struggle, and leave some space for miracles.